Are you a proud bike rider who revels in your car-free-ness? Zero Per Gallon is for you. The name derives from the costs of refueling a bike and from not paying into the petro-economy. While zero may be a nice round number, strictly speaking a burrito costs a little more than nada. Still, their guesstimation of “53 miles per burrito” smiles favorably on the bicycle. And burritos taste so much better than gasoline.

Zero Per Gallon lets you wear your bike pride on your sleeve or, more exactly, on your chest with t-shirts, or any place you darned well choose with stickers and patches. I’m also really impressed by their simple yet very cool repurposing of used-up bicycle tires as hipster belts.

A message from Zero Per Gallon’s Jonny5:

In a moment of inspired caffeine-induced glory, in October of 2005, J5 founded Zero Per Gallon, and was then elected unanimously by himself to the head honchoship of ZPG as the organization’s sole representative to the world’s entire human population. As the big kahuna at ZPG, Jonny5 serves on five influential committees, four very-important task-forces, three prestigious executive councils, two top-secret board groups, and one all-encompassing kickass trade association. Since taking the helm as chief executive big banana of ZPG, Jonny5 has been a strong voice for ZPG in Washington. In fact, he’s been lobbying the shit out of elected representatives, working tirelessly to promote the ZPG agenda:

• Advocating and embracing policies to make ZPG a competitive leader in America
• Promoting faith-based ZPG education forums around the world
• Protecting Americans from corrosive, sinful, moral-fabric-destroying un-ZPG-ish ideas
• Strengthening and supporting the leg muscles necessary to make bikes move
• Removing baseless, unproven goat-promoting “science” from public school curricula

Jonny5 has consistently stood strong with the brave men and women who ride hard and believe in ZPG, and will continue to do so until he’s hobbling around on crutches, shitting in a diaper, slurping dinner out of a straw in Boca Raton, mumbling about the good old days when bikes were made of lugged steel and not some fancy-shamncy space age carbon fiber shit.

Comments (1)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

Nick said:

I'm buying one of those belts because they are awesome!

March 16, 2008

Name

Email

Website

Title

Comment

Add Comment