Carectomy.com: Removing Cars from People

Picking on Hummers

Written by Joshua Liberles

Thursday, 27 September 2007

Picking on Hummers and their drivers is almost too easy. Like stealing candy from a baby. Or using banal clichés when you run out of witty analogies.

But it’s so fun, how can I very well resist? Car dependency in the U.S. is out of hand. Driving an impractical, ostentatious, oversized, absolutely stupid vehicle is just at the extreme end of this car-is-king mentality. And who ever thought naming a car “Hummer” would sell cars. I mean, don’t they get the joke?

As anti-environment as this vehicle is, it has become the symbol of overconsumption and irresponsibility. The goal here is to help people get out of cars, whether Hummers, Suburbans, or Prius’. In the case of the Hummer, we just want people to get out faster!

Focusing more attention on the dying breed that is Hummer is like kicking a car when its tires are flat. So without further ado, here are some well-placed kicks I think you’ll enjoy:

FUH2
The premise of this site is simple. Photographs of people giving the international Hummer-salute to the parked, driving, or idling vehicles they come across in their lives. I found this site to be much more engaging and entertaining than I would have imagined. And there are something like FOUR THOUSAND photos on the site!

Hummer cologne:
For better or worse, the world never ceases to amaze me. The worse: Hummer Cologne and H2 Cologne exist. The tagline: "the smooth richness of tonka bean acts as the 'axle' that links and balances the fresh and warm notes, creating an olfactory sensation that can only be Hummer™." The better: Mark Mumford’s article on the topic. One of the funniest things I’ve read in years! An excerpt:

All of which begs the obvious, painful question: Who, pray who, is buying this stuff? And perhaps more importantly, what peroxided, pneumatic woman is attracted to it? Who in their right mind looks at Hummer cologne and says whoa, dude, a scent based on a hulking low-grade environmentally devastating gas-sucking oil-belching horribly designed vehicle that just screams, "I don't give a damn about anything or anyone and by the way screw the baby seals too." That is exactly how I want to smell.

And finally this fantastic video clip of the Hummer in action, off-roading as it was intended. Well, not quite.

Comments (5) add comment

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George M said:

Holy lord...it's axel just split! Well, I guess that's what happens when you put all that extra weight on F-150 frame.

September 28, 2007

Kilgore Trout said:

Why do the biggest jerks in the world have all the dough? They certainly dont seem to be smarter.

October 04, 2007

sdgag said:

asgasgasdhg

October 08, 2007 | url

Caedn said:

The axle didn't split, the tie rod broke.

October 19, 2007

J said:

Its based on a Suburban not an F150 since those are Ford. That is hilarious to see some yuppy trying to take one of those off road and bust it like it was a tooth pick. These things are not designed for that. All they are designed to do is weigh alot and take up two lanes. I'm not one for vandalism, but it almost makes me wish that ELF were more prevalent in my home town.

October 27, 2007

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